#861

• What do you call a dead magician's assistant?
• An abracadaver.

#862

• How did the hot dog vendor tackle his job?
• With relish.

#863

• What were the unauthorized protestors guilty of doing?
• Marching banned.

#864

A patient said to a psychiatrist, "I keep wanting to cover myself in gold paint."

The psychiatrist said, "Sounds like you have a gilt complex."

#865

• What do you call the Association of Blood Donors?
• The IV League.

#866

• Why couldn't the chicken fly through the window?
• It was closed.

#867

• How does a wizard keep his potions safe from burglary?
• With a warlock.

#868

• Why did the baker bake more bread?
• He kneaded the dough.

#869

• How do spies send secret messages in a forest?
• By moss code.

#870

• What makes a chef sadder the skinnier it gets?
• An onion.