#171

• What do you call a snake that rides around on the front of a car?
• A windshield viper.

#172

• What's red and looks like a bucket?
• A red bucket.

#173

• What's blue and looks like a bucket?
• A red bucket in disguise.

#174

I used to own a car that never seemed to run properly. It was a brokeswagen.

#175

One cutting edge aquarium saved a lot of money when its owner discovered a means to make the dolphins live forever -- since the dolphins never died, no money needed to be spent on buying new ones. Extending the dolphins' lives required putting a special mixture into their food; one of the ingredients was baby sea gull meat. So one day, one of the workers was sent to the beach to find some. On the way back, baby sea gulls in hand, he had to pass through a forest. In the middle of the path was a sleeping lion. He very carefully stepped over it, only to be handcuffed by a policeman.

"Officer," he said, "what's going on?"

"You're under arrest," said the policeman.

"But why?" he asked.

The policeman replied, "For transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises."

#176

• Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
• He wanted to win the no bell prize!

#177

Did you hear Willie Nelson got run over? He was playing on the road again.

#178

• What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison?
• A small medium at large.

#179

• What do you call an eye doctor living on an island in Alaska?
• An optical Aleutian.

#180

A math teacher had a bird, and he trained it to talk. One day it escaped, and he yelled out the window, "Polly gone! Polly gone!"