#111

A three-legged dog walked into a saloon in the Old West. He sidled up to the bar and announced, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

#112

• Why do marble statues look so mean?
• They have hearts of stone.

#113

• What kind of house is easiest to pick up?
• A light house.

#114

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

#115

A frog named Kermit Jagger goes to a bank to get a loan. He talks to a teller named Patty Mack. Patty asks the frog what he has for collateral. The frog pulls out a small figurine, but Patty says, "I'm sorry, that's just a cheap knick knack." The bank manager had been walking by at the time and overheard the conversation. Looking over, he said, "This figurine is three hundred years old -- it's priceless. That's no knick knack, Patty Mack, give that frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

#116

• What did the stamp say to the envelope?
• I'm stuck on you.

#117

• What do you get when you mix a mouse with some laundry detergent?
• Squeaky clean clothes.

#118

When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.

#119

A neutron went into a bar and asked the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."

#120

• What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and crosses back over?
• A dirty double crosser.