#281

• What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
• A flat major.

#282

• Why do businessmen carry umbrellas?
• Because umbrellas can't walk.

#283

• Why did the engineer drive the backwards?
• He had a loco motive.

#284

• Why do girls like guys who wear shirts with eight buttons?
• They fascinate.

#285

• What did the carpenters call their brass quartet?
• The Tuba Four

#286

• What's big, red, and eats rocks?
• A big red rock eater.

#287

• When is a car not a car?
• When it turns into a parking lot.

#288

• Where does Santa stash his money?
• In a snowbank.

#289

• What does a computer eat when it's hungry?
• Chips -- one byte at a time.

#290

• Why don't seagulls fly in the bay?
• Because they don't want to be bagels.